I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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