This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
