yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize