he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Fuck appropriateness.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
