in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
