she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
