I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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