Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
