dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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