I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize