p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
