The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
