Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
