life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
