Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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