its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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