he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
