hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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