think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
