so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
