I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
