you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
