if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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