So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
