he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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