how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
