Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
