I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
there's paper in my vomit.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
