GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
