i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
