from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
