The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Green mimosas i think yes
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
