Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I would ride that face into the sunset
where are my eyebrows?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize