After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
