she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
