i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
