So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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