dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
