I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
