It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
