I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
