Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
You can't special order awesome
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
