i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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