remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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