Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize
