A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
