super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
