Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
