the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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