How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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