I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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