from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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