I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
