2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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