She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
