Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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