this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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