Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
