Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
