i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
