Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I don't think brook has ever known best
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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