office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
please come you make the beer taste better
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I believe in your delicious
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
