I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
